Sunday, May 24, 2009


Have you ever traveled through the southern states and wondered if you heard certain words correctly? Well, if so, check out the following dictionary of Hickbonics from an old hippie's website. Fun stuff.

The Association of Southern Schools has decided to pursue some of the seemingly endless taxpayer dollar pipeline through Washington designating Southern slang, or Hickbonics,” as a language to be taught in all Southern schools. A speaker of this language would be a Hickophone. The following are excerpts from the Hickbonics/English dictionary:

~~Heidi - greeting
~~Hire Yew - complete sentence and remainder of greeting
Usage: "Heidi, hire yew?"

~~Bard - past tense of "to borrow"
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck."

~~Munts - a calendar division
Usage: "My brother bard my pickup truck, and I ain’t herd from him in munts.”

~~Thank - ability to cognitively process
Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."

~~Bare - an alcoholic beverage made of barley, hops, and yeast
Usage: "Ah thank ah’ll have a bare."

~~Ranch - a tool used for tight’nin’ bolts
Usage: "I thank I left my ranch in the back of that pickup truck my brother bard a few munts ago.”

~~All - a petroleum-based lubricant
Usage: "I sure hope my brother puts all in my pickup truck."

~~Far - a conflagration
Usage: "If my brother don’t change the all in my pickup truck, that thing’s gonna catch far."

~~Tar - a rubber wheel
Usage: "Gee, I hope that brother of mine don’t git a flat tar in my pickup truck."

~~Tire - a tall monument
Usage: "Lord willin’ and the creek don’t rise, I sure do hope to see that Eiffel Tire in Paris sometime."

~~Retard - to stop working
Usage: "My grampaw retard at age 65."

~~Fat - a battle or combat; to engage in battle or combat
Usage: "You younguns keep fat’n, n’ ah’m gonna whup y’uh."

~~Rats - entitled power or privilege
Usage: "We Southerners are willin’ to fat for are rats."

~~Farn - not domestic
Usage: "I cuddint unnerstand a wurd he sed . . . must be from some farn country."

~~Did - not alive
Usage: "He’s did, Jim."

~~Ear - a colorless, odorless gas: oxygen
Usage: "He cain’t breathe . . . give ‘im some ear!"

~~Bobwar - a sharp, twisted cable
Usage: "Boy, stay away from that bobwar fence."

~~Gubmint - a bureaucratic institution
Usage: "Them gubmint boys shore is ignert."

It could go on forever! But now, when we head south, I just might be able to have some fun in conversation. How about you?

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